Oct 13, 2023Liked by Noelle S (Jennifer Incognito)
You're not alone here. I think a lot of people are still waiting and looking for the path that God has planned for them. Don't give up though!!! Keep looking and waiting and following Him. It is said that Saint Mother Theresa, after "hearing" God tell here he wanted her to go to India and do the work there that she did, did not "hear" Him again. She called it her dark night of the soul. Years spent doing what she believed He had called her to do but with no follow up of good job, keep it up, or now do this or that... She said that it was hard but she trusted that He would let her know if/when He changed His plans for her and so she just kept on keeping on...
Recounting this story to you made me sit back and look at decisions and choices that we made earlier in our lives and marriage that we truly felt were God's plans for us. So, I'm now in the dark night of my soul, as well, so I must continue doing what I have been and trust that I am where and when and how He wants me to be right now...
Oct 13, 2023Liked by Noelle S (Jennifer Incognito)
This is indeed a real struggle. One thing that has always frightened me and perhaps I may be interpreting it wrong. When Jesus died on the cross, His Father had to temporarily abandon him to allow Him to die. How horrible that must have been for Jesus Christ while a tremendous display of pure Faith. I always think of that in time of trouble and think how unbearable this would be. This is where my mind tortures me at times and I feel intense guilt about it.
No words of wisdom today because I am in the struggle with all of you. I feel darkness right now, and I am trying to lean into trusting him completely. I am leaning into that verse about the why of his timing we don't understand. I know I needed a long time to figure out how to have a daily relationship with him and to trust, so I want others to have that also. Pray for peace. God's will be done. Have a blessed day.
Oct 13, 2023Liked by Noelle S (Jennifer Incognito)
I understand where you are coming from! After my first three miscarriages, I had intense anger at God. To the point where I contemplated suicide and was unable to pray for months afterwards. Before my third miscarriage, I had begun doing weekly Adoration. My hour was 1A every Wednesday morning. I still clearly remember going to my Adoration slot b/c that was my slot and I didn't have anyone I wanted to ask to fill in for me. I really didn't want to be there though but I went anyway. The church was empty save for me and the Monstrance holding Our Lord on the Altar. I was so very angry that I literally began shouting out my anger and pain at Him. Asking Him how He could make me go thru this pain and sorrow a third time. Asking what I had done wrong to deserve to lose another child this way. I wept inconsolable in my grief and then I heard God speak to me...He told me He completely understood how I was feeling at losing my children even before I had gotten to know them and, as I thought there was no way He could know that, He lovingly said to me that He did. He had lost his only son. And not only did He know my grief, His grief was even greater b/c He ASKED His son to DIE for ME....His love washed over me in that instant and eased my pain and grief and I hold on to that memory now as my touchstone, knowing that His plans will always be the best plans for me, no matter how much they may hurt at that time...
Oct 13, 2023Liked by Noelle S (Jennifer Incognito)
Always keep in mind that you will eventually see and meet these children. That’s the promise of the Resurrection. He has not only plans for you but for them also.
Oct 13, 2023Liked by Noelle S (Jennifer Incognito)
How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?
It’s darkest before the dawn. Still having a tough time here waiting and waiting, trying to figure out the right path but I’m still not seeing it.
You're not alone here. I think a lot of people are still waiting and looking for the path that God has planned for them. Don't give up though!!! Keep looking and waiting and following Him. It is said that Saint Mother Theresa, after "hearing" God tell here he wanted her to go to India and do the work there that she did, did not "hear" Him again. She called it her dark night of the soul. Years spent doing what she believed He had called her to do but with no follow up of good job, keep it up, or now do this or that... She said that it was hard but she trusted that He would let her know if/when He changed His plans for her and so she just kept on keeping on...
Recounting this story to you made me sit back and look at decisions and choices that we made earlier in our lives and marriage that we truly felt were God's plans for us. So, I'm now in the dark night of my soul, as well, so I must continue doing what I have been and trust that I am where and when and how He wants me to be right now...
This is indeed a real struggle. One thing that has always frightened me and perhaps I may be interpreting it wrong. When Jesus died on the cross, His Father had to temporarily abandon him to allow Him to die. How horrible that must have been for Jesus Christ while a tremendous display of pure Faith. I always think of that in time of trouble and think how unbearable this would be. This is where my mind tortures me at times and I feel intense guilt about it.
No words of wisdom today because I am in the struggle with all of you. I feel darkness right now, and I am trying to lean into trusting him completely. I am leaning into that verse about the why of his timing we don't understand. I know I needed a long time to figure out how to have a daily relationship with him and to trust, so I want others to have that also. Pray for peace. God's will be done. Have a blessed day.
The writings are indeed wisdom enough. Again, the blog has helped me this morning.
I understand where you are coming from! After my first three miscarriages, I had intense anger at God. To the point where I contemplated suicide and was unable to pray for months afterwards. Before my third miscarriage, I had begun doing weekly Adoration. My hour was 1A every Wednesday morning. I still clearly remember going to my Adoration slot b/c that was my slot and I didn't have anyone I wanted to ask to fill in for me. I really didn't want to be there though but I went anyway. The church was empty save for me and the Monstrance holding Our Lord on the Altar. I was so very angry that I literally began shouting out my anger and pain at Him. Asking Him how He could make me go thru this pain and sorrow a third time. Asking what I had done wrong to deserve to lose another child this way. I wept inconsolable in my grief and then I heard God speak to me...He told me He completely understood how I was feeling at losing my children even before I had gotten to know them and, as I thought there was no way He could know that, He lovingly said to me that He did. He had lost his only son. And not only did He know my grief, His grief was even greater b/c He ASKED His son to DIE for ME....His love washed over me in that instant and eased my pain and grief and I hold on to that memory now as my touchstone, knowing that His plans will always be the best plans for me, no matter how much they may hurt at that time...
Always keep in mind that you will eventually see and meet these children. That’s the promise of the Resurrection. He has not only plans for you but for them also.
How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?
Here am I. Send me!